DOTA: Defense Of Dignity
by IHateTheFogOfWar
Summary: A tale of 7 Warriors from the faction that calls it self the Dire which depicts their futile attempts to try to win their faction a war against the radiant. The only problem? None of them know what they're doing.
1. Prologue

**NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR: CHAPTER 1 ( THE PROLOGUE) IS NOT MEAN'T TO BE FUNNY. I JUST WANTED TO GIVE A LITTLE INTRODUCTION TO THE SITUATION. I THINK ITS SAFE TO SAY THE REAL HUMOR STARTS AT CHAPTER 2.**

There was a commotion in the Dire base.

Chaos Knight yelled," HOW DARE YOU? YOU FILTHY..."

"Maybe if you could have gone 2 minutes without ganking, things wouldn't have gone this way!" Yelled Enigma cutting in.

Razor interrupted saying,"You've given us quite the shock Enigma! Get it? Shock because, you know he.."

"NOT NOW RAZOR!" Yelled Nessaj the Chaos knight.

Enigma had just let the Dire's bottom tower lose about 80 percent of its health due to a poorly timed and placed black hole.

"it appears that the rest of the team finds your leadership questionable Nessaj." Said Invoker.

"Do as you wish Kael. Command us if you wish, I'd like to see you do better." Replied an agitated Nessaj.

Upon being given the chance, Invoker burst out with his idea of a better plan.

"Very well, Razor and Axe can take to the bottom lane. Queen of Pain and Terrorblade can stay in the top lane since they're actually doing a good job. Enigma can take this oppurtunity to jungle while I will situate myself to the middle lane." Said Kael.

"What do you propose I will do?" Said Nessaj.

"Well since you seem to have an unconditional love for ganking you can gank your way through this phase. I'm not assigning you a specific lane. Keep moving and help when called for." Replied Invoker.

His replies came very quickly, it was as if he was waiting for this day for a long time.

"Leave me to be your scout , Eh Invoker?" Said A slightly annoyed Chaos Knight.

You'd expect someone who has been the General of the Dire to be enraged in being given this kind of duty but Nessaj knew he had this coming when he told Invoker to lead on.

The others had already pressed on to carry out their duties, agitated by Invoker's disrespect for the Chaos knight, Nessaj and his steed travelled to the top lane. The only lane that he thought was being handled well.

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><p>So this chapter is quite short and I'm sorry about that. The succeeding chapters will be longer.<p>

This is my first fanfiction ever so please do leave a review if you liked it. A happy review would totally make my day.


	2. Derping around

Panning over to the bottom lane.

Razor and Axe stood as they prepped themselves for battle. Anti mage and Juggernaut were farming away without a care. Axe and Razor had derived a cunning plan to defeat their laning opponents. Axe looked at Razor and signaled him while he hid next to their tower away from radiant vision.

Upon seeing the signal, Razor said, "Oh dear , Axe.. i have no mana." Loudly.

Not getting the desired response from Anti-Mage,

"I SAID, I DONT HAVE MANA" Razor said even louder than before.

"oh yeah, thats my Que." said Anti-mage as he blinked next to Razor and unleashed a massive amount of energy as he yelled "mana VOID!"

But to his surprise Razor stood almost unneffected.

"I lied." Said Razor as he created a blue link between him and Magina.

"You think, you've got it in the bag?" Said Magina as he blinked closeby in an attempt to break the link.

But the link didnt break.. " How does that even make sense?.. I mean i broke the laws of everything and this wire is still on me.. Fix this shit valve" yelled Anti-mage.

As Razor dished out his serving of bolts of electricity, Axe broke his cover and charged to take down Magina.

"GG NO RE REPORT RAZOR" said Anti-Mage as he knew it was the end for him.

But in a flash, Juggernaut stepped in and started spinning around in circles.

"Is he spinning around in circles? What the fuck Icefrog.. Did you run out of ideas?"said Razor.

"BATTLE FURY!" Yelled Juggernaut as he spun towards Axe.

"Why the fuck is he yelling battle fury when the ability is called blade fury?" Said Razor.

Juggernaut omnislashed Axe dealing major damage. Axe and Razor retreated to their tower.

"Lets just make a run for it back to base buddy, we're screwed" said Razor

"NO, Axe has learned something in life.. Giving up? Giving up is for shovels.." Replied Axe.

"Do whips count?" Said Razor.

"meh, wtf yolo" said Razor as the two charged in all or nothing.

"4 Seconds later"

JUGGERNAUT GOT A DOUBLE KILL!

Seconds after the two respawned. "Fucking purple boy whose name rhymes with something he doesn't get and his gay ass samurai bitch." Ranted Razor.

"This is such horrid Chaos" said Nessaj in regret.

"NOT TO WORRY FRIENDS! ENIGMA HAS RETURNED FROM THE JUNGLE!" Said Enigma loudly.

"Oh, its this joker now.." Said Nessaj.

"Not to worry Chaos Knight I have acquired an item that improves me physically and mentally.. After countless jungling I give you, the IRON BRANCH!" Said Enigma.

"Uhhhh... What have you done.. You UHHHH" said Chaos knight.

"Maybe late game I can get this item which lets me eat trees! Sure it gives some health regen but LETS ME EAT MOTHERFUCKING TREES.. I think its called a tango." Replied Enigma.

"Fucking tryhards" said Chaos knight as he drowned in regret.

"Anyway, Yo Invoker? Magic man wazoo.. What do you want me to do now?" asked Enigma.

"How did you know i was here?" said an invisible Kael.

"Well Lanaya there is walking really spowly and her feet are kinda frozen so.." Replied Darchrow.

"oh, that explains it.. Wait did you say Lanay..."

In a second the Dire were under attack , Lanaya, Riki and a ganking Rubick were harassing them.

"Wait, Rubick.. Is that you.. You little shit come here so I can tornado, chaos meteor, deafening blast, emp, sunstrike your spell stealing ass." Said Invoker.

"TROLOLOL, 3SWAG5YU, MLG QUICKSCOPE BOI THATS ME. BUSY FUCKING MOM. WHOSE THE GRANDESSSSST MAGUS? ME BEEYOTCH!" Said Rubick.

"Sometimes I wonder how I take this war as seriously as I do." Said a facepalming Nessaj.

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><p>Thanks for reading guys. This is my first fan fiction so a review would be heavily appreciated. I tried making this chapter longer than the previous one. Hope you guys like it :)<p> 


	3. Facepalms

"Rubick! Face true sorcery now!" Saying this Invoker created a meteor above Rubick.

"DON'T WORRY GUYS.. I WONT FAIL AGAIN.. THANKS TO THE ADDITION TO MY ARSENAL OF WEAPONS.. THE IRON BRANCH!" Saying this Enigma lunged towards battle.

"BLACK HOLE" yelled Enigma as he created a black hole that engulfed Rubick.

"You fool, YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO USE IT WHEN BOTH LANAYA AND RUBICK WERE IN RANGE." Yelled Nessaj.

"Never mind what Nessaj says Enigma, EXORT EXORT EXORT! INVOKE" yelled Kael

Doing this a huge beam of energy hit Rubick and deemed him to ashes.

"You fall before the Arsenal Magus!. Said Invoker.

"Wait where is Lanaya? Said Nessaj cautiously.

In just a fraction of a second, she revealed her position and unleashed a huge amount of energy killing Enigma.

"I will avenge you Enigma!" Saying this Invoker yelled EXORT EXORT EXORT INVOKE again and unleashed the same energy but off target.

"Do you not know any other spells?" said Nessaj as he charged

Nessaj suddenly split into 3 individuals and charged in.

He used a spell that brought him closer to Lanaya.

The 3 Nessajs swung their swords in an attempt to kill Templar Assassin.

And in a second she went invisible again.

"INVOKER, SUNSTRIKE THIS PLACE.. SHE'S MELDING HERE" said Nessaj.

"EXORT EXORT EXORT.. INVOKE... " yelled Invoker as he casted a sunstrike.

"I didnt get the kill wtf" said Invoker

"DONT WORRY GUYS, I GOT THIS!" said Enigma as he used his black hole on the spot.

But still, she didnt get killed.

"WTF isnt Lanaya supposed to be squishy? Im reporting her" said Invoker.

"You stupid idiots.." said Terrorblade from nowhere.

"TERRORBLADE RETURN TO YOUR LANE" said Invoker hastily.

"If you guys looked to the left you'd see 'Lanaya just activated an invisibility rune' written there.." Said Terrorblade.

"She just baited us to use our abilities.. But why?" Said Nessaj

"She's requesting a gank..." Said Kael.

"How do you know?" Asked Terrorblade?

"I am the Arsenal Magus, do not question me." Replied invoker.

"So what is QoP even doing? She hasn't shown up the whole time." Asked Nessaj

"She's farming." Replied Terrorblade.

"STOP HAVING A NORMAL CONVERSATION.. WE NEED TO WAIT FOR THEIR GANK AND BE READY.." yelled Enigma.

"8 hours later."

"Fuck your dreams Enigma, I'm going home." Said Terrorblade.

"GUYS WAIT.. IT COULD HAPPEN..ANY SECOND" replied Enigma.

But it was no use, everyone had already left him.

'Well screw this, I'm going home too." said Enigma

"I would'nt think so" said Rubick

"FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK" yelled Enigma.

Rubick waved his staff that absorbed some kind of energy from Enigma. Enigma knew he was fucked.

"BLACK HOLE HEUHEUHEUHUE" Yelled Rubick as he created a black hole that engulfed Enigma.

As the black hole persisted, Razor.. who was ganking? I don't know.. just go with it.. had arrived at the scene.

"Hey guys, just wanted to know where the secret shop is.. I need this thing called a blade of acra.. something." said Razor

"Its there, See I'm pinging at it." said Enigma

"Thanks" said Razor as he went in that direction.

"OH SHIT, WAIT WAIT.. HELP... FUCK HE'S GONE" said Enigma

The black hole ended.

"Hahaha fuck your blackhole! Get it cause you know, theres no space so I'm referring to your arse.. hehe" said Engima.

"SUFFER MY SORCERY BEEYOTCH" said Rubick as he waved some amount of energy out of his staff that struck Enigma and killed him.

"GET FADE BOLTED M90" YELLED RUBICK.

"Are you fucking serious.. Enigma has died like 3 times already.." ranted Terrorblade.

"Invoker.. what are you even doing?" said Nessaj.

"Oh me, I was just done with reporting Enigma for intentional feeding." said Invoker.

"Wait what is Axe even doing?" said Terrorblade.

"I'M BACK FRIENDS! MISSED ME?" YELLED ENIGMA.

"Goddamit" said Nessaj as he facepalmed.

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><p>Hope you guys liked this one. Anyway , Next episode will probably start panning around the radiant side. Keep in mind I'm trying to make this story center both factions, not just the dire. PLEASE. GIVE ME ALL YOUR REVIEWS. ;)<p>

LOVE ME ALREADY.

:D


	4. Getting 'Outplayed'

"How goes the farm Magina?" asked Rubick.

"Fine, but if we are to destroy our opponents, then I will require more gold than this." replied Anti-Mage

In a distance stood Axe.

"Fucking shovels.." he sneered at the two.

"Psssst, Anti Mage, I'll use my telekinesis to bring Axe here" said Rubick

"GREAT, THAT WOULD STUN THE CREEPS HERE ALLOWING ME TO FARM EVEN MORE AND MORE EFFICIENTLY!" said Anti Mage very enthusiastically.

"No..no .. we can KILL AXE that way.." replied Rubick

"Oh yeah, that too." said Anti-Mage.

In a second, Rubick tossed Axe into the air and then threw him onto the ground.

But to their disadvantage, Axe was thrown just next to the rune spawn location.

"What have you done Rubick?! said Anti-Mage.

And in a second Axe yelled "DOUBLE DAMAGE..."

Axe ran towards the two and began beating the shit outta them.

Anti-Mage, as scared as he could be blinked away to safety and retreated.

Axe then slowly turned towards Rubick and said, "Its rape time."

Rubick tried making a run for it but Axe was too fast!

Out of nowhere Terrorblade said, " Hey guys I just came here for the rune and.. GOODAMIT AXE!"

Rubick waved his staff and absorbed some kind of energy from Terrorblade which then made Rubick transform into a giant demon.

"Run." said Rubick.

"AXE STILL HAS HIS DOUBLE DAMAGE SO FUCK YOU!" Yelled Axe

Axe's double damage just ended.

Rubick fired these littly bursts of energy at the two repeatedly and killed Axe.

"THE GRRRRRRRRAND MAGUS STRIKES" Yelled Rubick who was still in his demonic form.

Rubick then proceeded to kill Terrorblade and harassed him deeming him to low health.

Terrorblade then SUNDERED Rubick.

Yup.

That

just

happened.

"OUTPLAYED!" Yelled Terroblade as he slashed Rubick with his blades killing him.

"YEAHHHHH!" Yelled Terrorblade as he put on shades.

Was this happening?

Was Dire making a comeback?

Ursa, was now attacking the Dire's mid tower, hitting it to pulp.

"QUICK! ONE OF YOU IGNORANT FUCKS GO AND DEFEND MID!" Yelled Invoker.

"I'll do it!" came from an unfamiliar voice.. it was from Queen Of Pain.

"Akasha, I trust your long absence has a good reason" said Nessaj The Chaos Knight

"Of course, you see I was farming for..this!" said The Queen Of Pain as she showed them the BattleFury.

"With this item by my side! Enemy's will suffer MY WRATH!" said Akasha.

"Get to it already" said Invoker

Akasha then pulled out a teleport scroll and teleported to the middle lane.

...

"URSA JUST PWNED QUEEN OF PAIN'S HEAD FOR 269 GOLD!

"Queen Of Pain has Abandoned the game."

"FOR FUCKS SAKE! WHY DOES THIS BULLSHIT KEEP HAPPENING TO US?" Ranted Invoker.

"Calm down, I'll take care of it." said Nessaj as he progressed to the middle lane.

Upon reaching the middle lane, Nessaj saw Ursa, take down creep waves without breaking a sweat. Intimidating was the word for it.

Nessaj charged towards Ursa.

Ursa saw Chaos Knight charge towards him and quickly hit Nessaj of his horse.

Ursa then grabbed the horse and

*NOTICE: THE FOLLOWING SCENE IS EXTREMELY GORY AND MIGHT INVOKE AN ANGRY RANTING ENVIRONMENTALIST IN THE REVIEW SECTION, YOU WERE WARNED*

AND RIPPED IT IN HALF.. YUP.

THAT

JUST

HAPPENED.

"NO! STEVIE!" YELLED CHAOS KNIGHT

"STEVIE? HAHAHAHA" LAUGHED URSA

"TODAY, YOU WILL DIE BY MY REVENGE!"

...

"URSA JUST PWNED CHAOS KNIGHT'S HEAD FOR 296 GOLD."

Juggernaut in the meantime was stalking Crystal Maiden.. AHEM.. FARMING.. YEAH FARMING.

Crystal Maiden was supporting Lanaya in the top lane.

Typical noobs, switching lanes every 6 minutes.

The previous statement "Was Dire making a comeback?" was now proven wrong.

Dire was under huge suppression.

"Guys, we need to gang up on Ursa, It will be the only way to defend mid." suggested Terrorblade.

"Agreed" said Invoker.

"K" said Enigma.

"GOTCHA" said Razor.

Ursa who was pushing mid was taking down creeps very efficiently.

All of a sudden, the 4 of them ambushed Ursa, Enigma created a black hole that engulfed Ursa and Invoker quickly casted a sunstrike on target hitting Ursa.

"DID YOU GUYS SEE ME? I LANDED A PERFECT BLACK HOLE!" YELLED ENIGMA.

"ENIGMA, SLOWLY TURN BACK." SAID INVOKER

"WHY?" asked Enigma.

He turned back.

"URSA JUST PWNED ENIGMA'S HEAD FOR 0 GOLD LOL CUZ ENIGMA SPENDS ALL HIS MONEY ON IRON BRANCHES."

The remaining 3 continued fighting, Terrorblade turned into a giant demon and created an illusion of himself and attacked Ursa continuously.

Razor whipped him and absorbed his damage.

Ursa was in a pretty bad situation.

Ursa hit the ground and slowed down the 3 and tried retreating.

Razor unleashed a huge burst of electrical energy that went out of him and returned into his body that struck Ursa and killed him.

"GUYS.. OMG GUYS... WE DID IT" yelled Razor in sheer excitement.

"DIRE'S TOP TOWER HAS BEEN DESTROYED" said the Announcer

"GODDAMIT ANNOUNCER CAN'T WE EVER BE ALLOWED TO BE HAPPY?" Ranted Razor

"NO, LOL FUCK YOU NOOBS." Said The Announcer.

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><p>Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. HUGE ANNOUNCEMENT... WE GOT 2 REVIEWS! OMG I'M SO HAPPY!<p>

mie .rebus, Thanks! Happy to know you're enjoying the story :D

DESOLATEANDHATE, Thank you so much for the support! I will keep going :D

Anyway, I'll probably release a chapter 4 in less than 2 or 3 days.

Thanks again. :D


	5. Brother on brother Action

The Dire was pressing on in their endeavors to victory when a sudden purple cloud of air burst before them.

Out came a purple humanoid figure who said, " Greetings, I am Faceless Void!."

"LOOK A PURPLE BLIND GUY" yelled Enigma.

"What is it you propose stranger?" Asked Kael.

"I have seen the future Invoker and I have come to warn you brothers of the Dire. A radiant warrior whose name rhymes with the female genital will farm endlessly and will ultimately kill you all and win his faction the war!" Said Void.

"wow" said Invoker

"I must leave now, may the odds be in your favor" saying this Void left.

"GUYS I HAVE A SKILL CALLED MIDNIGHT PULSE.. HOW COOL IS THAT?" Yelled Enigma

"Focus!" Said Nessaj

"Enigma and Razor go kill Anti Mage" said Invoker

Meanwhile...

"Is the job done? did they believe you?" Asked Juggernaut

"Yes Indeed, are they retarded?" Asked Void

"I don't know but at least now they'll get Anti Mage to stop farming" said Juggernaut

7 minutes Later in the Radiant Jungle...

"If only this game had a tractor" said Anti mage as he farmed endlessly.

Out of nowhere Enigma and Razor ambushed Magina!

Razor absorbed Magina's damage while getting his mana burned by Magina in return.

"Conduct yourself accordingly!" Exclaimed Razor who had now absorbed 224 damage.

Looks like the job was done.

RAZOR PWNED ANTI MAGE FOR 822 , EVEN THOUGH HE WASNT ON A KILLING SPREE THAT WHAT YOU GET YOU FARMING FUCK.

"How is this game fare anymore?" Magina uttered before dying.

Crystal Maiden who had been sleeping in the blue cart glacier the whole time used her blink dagger to blink in and used her freezing field.

Enigma managed to get away but Razor just got killed.

MEANWHILE...

"Ugh, where have I been? Oh well time to steal a game breaking ultimate and go swear at Invoker." Said Rubick

Saying this he went to check on the middle lane.

Here he saw Chaos knight chase Ursa

"PHANTASM" yelled Nessaj as he split into 4.

Nessaj then used his Manta style splitting into 6 Chaos Knights.

The 6 Chaos knight's surrounded Ursa.

"OH MY GOD! ITS LIKE A HORRIBLE ORGY" exclaimed Ursa

"GET REKT NUB" exclaimed Nessaj as he delivered the killing blow!

Following Ursa's death Rubick from a distance yelled to get Nessaj to chase him.

"GET HIM!" Yelled One of the Chaos Knights.

"No shit! What do you think? We're just gonna stand here?" Said Another Chaos Knight

The 6 Chaos knights chased Rubick who ultimately ledt hem to Juggernaut and Crystal Maiden.

Upon seeing the 3 enemies the illusions weren't very bright on the idea of helping.

"Well.. Shit I'M OUT" said A chaos knight leaving

"I GTG MY CAT IS ON FIRE" said another that also disappeared.

"yolo? I don't think so" said another that left his side.

So only 3 Chaos Knights remained.

AN OMNISLASH LATER...

Only the real one remains who is currently running his ass back to base.

In a second Lanaya burst one of her traps when Nessaj got onto it.

She sprung up on him and dealt huge burst damage drom a single blade killing her.

"The acquisition of the Desolater has its advantages." Said Lanaya.

"EZ" said Juggernaut.

In the meantime...

"Enigma! I require you to help me push the top lane! Doing so well give us sometime to think on our next move!" Said Kael

"Lets just do Roshan" said Enigma

"Wait.. Did you just state an idea not half bad? Wow" said Invoker

"Well I guess its because I got this item recently" said Enigma as he pulled out a Mantle of Intelligence.

*FACEPALM*

meanwhile...

"Those little shits think they can stop me from farming? FARMING IS MY DESTINY!" Said Magina as he went bottom lane to farm.

There he saw a familiar face, He saw Terrorblade who was also farming.

"Brother!" Exclaimed Anti Mage

"Ugh not this guy again, I gotta tell him he's adopted one of these days" said Terrorblade softly to himself.

"OH HI" said Terrorblade.

"We meet again brother but now, only one shall leave alive" said Magina

"But first I must ask you, why did mother give me such a weird name?" Asked Magina

"Well you see when you were found in that trash can.. Err.. I mean born, you had a penis so small that it could only be seen at a molecular level" said Terrorblade.

"Who said it didn't stay the same way when I grew up?" Said Anti Mage

"WHAT?" Saying this Terrorblade slowly left lane.

...

* * *

><p>Hey guys, hope you like this chapter, So we just got 3 more reviews :D<p>

Noob , Hahaha xD Thank you :D

Ballernar, LOL, thanks for the review mate :)

Eeglborn, Thanks! You play invoker? *tips fedora*

Next chapter in around 2-3 days.


	6. Roshan

**xcMESSAGE FROM THE AUTHOR:**

**I KNOW MANY INGAME ACCURACIES ARE NOT FOLLOWED BUT I DO THAT WITH THE INTENTION OF MAKING THE STORY FUNNY. I ALSO APOLOGIZE FOR ANY OBVIOUS GRAMMATICAL MISTAKES.**

"Listen guys, we're about to take on Roshan but first we need to decide who gets the Aegis." Said Invoker

"Well, I'm the hard carry so I obviously deserve it!" Exclaimed Terrorblade.

"You wish! I'm the only person who knows what he's doing" said Nessaj

"CONDUCT YOURSELVES!" Yelled Razor as he felt an argument stir up.

"Guys I think we should take turns using it." Said Enigma

"That isn't possible you dumbass" said Invoker

"AXE WANTS THE AEGIS" yelled Axe.

"Wait, did Enigma just tell us to take turns? Get the fuck out idiot!" exclaimed Nessaj.

Enigma replied,"But I was only.."

"NOW!" yelled Nessaj

**ENGIMA LEAVES THE CONVERSATION AND GOES ELSEWHERE.**

...

**THE DIRE PROGRESSED TO ROSHAN'S PIT AND BEGAN BATTLING HIM**

**MEANWHILE ON THE RADIANT SIDE**

"My Psionic trap placed in Roshan's pit tells me that the Dire are trying to get the Aegis!" said Lanaya

"Hmm... Riki! Go wait for them to kill Roshan and snatch the Aegis, we can use this oppurtunity to push a lane." said Juggernaut

"With pleasure! Hehehe" said Riki as he disappeared into thin air.

"URSA! DEF BOTTOM AND PUSH IF POSSIBLE! I AND CRYSTAL MAIDEN *ahem* *ahem* WILL TRY PUSHING TOP!" Yelled Juggernaut

**AND SO THE RADIANT WARRIORS DID AS THEY WERE TOLD.**

"This was a terrible idea!" said Razor as they were getting beaten up by Roshan pretty bad.

"Whose idea was this in the first place? Enigma? Why would we ever believe him?" said Nessaj

**MEANWHILE THE DIRE TOP TOWER WAS UNDER ATTACK AND ENIGMA WAS ON HIS WAY WHEN...**

"WOW! An invisibility rune? FUCK YEAH!" said Enigma as he picked it up and proceeded to top lane.

On reaching...

"Ah! The tower keeps hitting me!" Said Juggernaut

"Fuck! Same problem here" said Crystal Maiden

"Come here, I'll set down A healing wart!" said Juggernaut

As the 2 began taking aid of the wart Enigma notices them.

"Wow! Juggernaut and Crystal Maiden! Time for.. WAIT.. Someone told me something I gotta remember now... uhh" said Enigma

As he tried to recall a distant and faded memory...

"ENIGMA'S MOM: DONT FORGET TO PACK CLEAN UNDERWEAR SWEETIE!... NO NOT THAT.. ITS SOMETHING ELSE.." said Enigma trying to remember some advice he could apply in this situation.

"INVOKER: BLAH BLAH BLAH INVOKE... NESSAJ: BLAH BLAH FUCK YOU.. NO ITS NONE OF THIS" Exclaimed Enigma

Trying really hard to recall the advice he got..

"NEESAJ: YOU DUMBASS! BLACK HOLE ONLY WHEN BOTH OF THEM ARE CLOSE TO EACH OTHER!" .. THATS IT!" Exclaimed Enigma.

Using his blink dagger that he might have stole...

he blinked in and...

"BLACK HOLE!" YELLED ENIGMA AS HE ENGULFED JUGGERNAUT AND CRYSTAL MAIDEN IN THE BLACK HOLE.

"Well Fuck everything!" said Juggernaut

**ENIGMA GOT A DOUBLE KILL!**

"Holy shit, Did the announcer just say Enigma?!" exclaimed Invoker...

**BACK TO ENIGMA**

"I FINALLY HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR MY NEXT ITEM MWUHAHAHAHA!..ARCANE BOOTS!" Yelled Enigma.

Running back to base Enigma bought a pair of Arcane boots.

"SHINY!" He exclaimed.

"I should probably check on the Roshan fight now" said Enigma as he went to do so.

**MEANWHILE WITH THE REST OF THE DUMBFUCKS.. ERR.. I MEAN 'WARRIORS' YEAH WARRIORS..**

"FINALLY, WE'RE GONNA DO IT!" YELLED INVOKER

"YUP, I CAN TASTE THE VITAL SPARK" SAID RAZOR

**ROSHAN HAS FALLEN TO THE DIRE**

"FUCK YEAH BITCHES!" Yelled Nessaj

**THE AEGIS WAS SNATCHED BY RIKI**

"OH NO YOU DONT YOU LITTLE FUCK!" SAID INVOKER!

"EAT SHIT MOTHERFUCKER! LITTLE FAGGOT" YELLED RAZOR

"AXE IS GONNA TEAR YOU A NEW ASSHOLE" YELLED AXE

EVERYONE WAS BASICALLY RAPING RIKI WITH THEIR ABILITIES

Axe then finally dealt the final hit and sent Riki to the ground.

But the Aegis got him to come back to life

"ROUND 2? NO PROBLEM BITCH!" YELLED RAZOR

"KILL THAT MIDGET!" YELLED INVOKER

**RAZOR JUST PWNED RIKI FOR 236 GOLD!**

"Well that was a waste of time!" said Invoker.

Enigma finally made it to the pit.

"Hey guys! I got a double kill!" said Enigma

"Good job!" said Razor

"But I was wondering.. do any of you know how I'm supposed to wear these Arcane boots?" Asked Enigma

"Um..."said Nessaj

"I mean, I dont have feet.." said Enigma

**11 MINUTES LATER IN THE DIRE BASE'S SHOP**

"I WANT A REFUND! NOW!" Yelled Enigma

"Sure for half price that is" replied the Shopkeeper

"WHAT?!Exclaimed Enigma

"If you wanted a full price refund you should have refunded it in lest than 8 seconds from purchase" said The Shopkeeper

"How does that even make sense? Who's the dumbass who designs this bullshit shop system?" said Enigma

"AND BESIDES IM FIGHTING A WAR! THE LEAST YOU COULD DO IS GIVE ME A FULL REFUND FOR THESE BOOTS I CANT WEAR.. CUZ I DONT HAVE FEET!" Yelled Enigma.

"NO! SHOP CLOSED BITCH!" Saying this the shopkeeper closed the shop leaving Enigma with his boots he couldn't wear.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! Hope this chapter was to your liking! Remember,if you liked the chapter then please write a review, It totally helps!<p>

I got this out a day after chapter 5 simply because I had some spare time.

The next one (chapter 7) will be out in a day or two. Maybe even 3 if I'm that busy.

Now for thanking the reviews

**tung . vuthe . 5,** Thanks you so much! Hope you liked this chapter too :D

Untill next time :)


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